Not today.
None of that today.
Let me have today.
No getting up early, no meditating, no brushing my teeth.
No youtubing, netflixing or whatsapping.
Maybe not eating healthy or drinking enough today.
Maybe not drinking at all. Maybe eat anything at all.
No vitamin D, B12 or bad news today.
No friendzoning, no ghosting, maybe just no people at all.
Not having to explain myself, not being a disappointment.
Not today.
I don't want a pinball machine in my head, 12 tabs open and depression running wild in one.
Maybe today I don't want to get carried away, especially not with myself.
I don't want to feel myself at all today.
Neither under pressure, nor lonely, nor out of place.
No expectations. No searching for questions or answers today.
Let me be invisible today.
Not be a bad friend or sister or daughter or aunt.
Today to simply have no title at all.
No mirror today.
I don't want stupid people in powerful positions or powerful people in stupid positions.
I don't want to write a message and delete it again. I just don't want to hear a clock ticking. That time just stops turning today.
Just for 24 hours.
That would be something.
Today maybe just all of nothing.
Let me have today.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Just.
Quiet.
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